Percy and the Mysterious Woman
by Ts As and Cs
Summary: Percy's life turns upside down when he meets a survivor of a spaceship crash. Contains strong adult humour.


It was morning on The Island of Sodor, all the engines where preparing their fires for big hard day's work. Percy was not so keen on the day and was really sad.

"I'm so fucking fed up with all of Gordon's bullshit, he's saying he's the most important engine on the island!" snapped Percy, "It's so fucking unfair!"

"I am important!" yelled Gordon, "You are retarded, you can't say dignified properly!"

"Every engine calls me a fucking looser!" grunted Percy.

Sir Topham Hat (the man in charge of all the railways of Sodor but people call him The Fat Controller) heard everything.

"Silence!" he yelled, "And watch your fucking language!"

Thomas noticed that the The Fat Controller had a collar around his neck and a whip up his trousers.

"Excuse me Sir?" asked Thomas, "Why have you got a collar?"

"Are you pretending to be a dog?" asked Percy.

"Shut up Percy!" snapped The Fat Controller "I was having a threesome." He continued.

"Are you a yiffer furry?" asked Percy again.

"Oh my fucking god!" groaned The Fat Controller "What part of "shut up" don't you understand?!"

Duck asked "Are you a yiffer furry?"

"What?" said The Controller.

"Look up 'Bad Dragon'." Duck replied. The Fat Controller brought his laptop and all the engines looked at Bad Dragon in horror. Donald and Douglas looked at Duck.

"Hoo di ye ever ken this?" they asked.

"I bought a duck toy cock from that site!" Duck said. James vomited at the answer and the fact he had 10 Fosters cans the previous night. The Fat Controller looked at his clock.

"Oh shit! Get back on track for today" He commanded. The engines laughed at the order and got ready for work.

Percy was to help Thomas on his branchline by taking goods trains to each side of the line. Thomas was reading a "Playtrain" magazine at the station.

"It's not fair!" Percy moaned, "I am always the loser of Sodor! I never get told if I am a really useful or useless engine! I mean Duck and Thomas get girlfriends and what not!"

Thomas felt sorry for Percy and tried to cheer him up.

"Don't worry Percy, just think yourself off like Meg Griffin from Family Guy." Said Thomas.

"Oh thanks a lot." Replied Percy sarcastically, "Makes me a whole lot fucking better!"

"Don't worry Percy. No one likes you much." Thomas said. He left the station with Annie and Clarabelle.

The day was long and was almost evening. Percy was wondering if Duck was going to wank to Bad Dragon or see if James was going to be drunk again. Percy was chuffing along Thomas's branchline but then he came across a strange wreck he stopped by to see the damage. He looked at a large bold text saying "Normandy." It was nothing he had ever seen before then he saw a woman coming out the wreck.

Percy was confused and asked "Excuse me are you okay? What is the Normandy?"

The woman looked at Percy with amazement Percy saw the woman's beauty her raven hair blowing in the wind. Percy could tell it was love at first site.

"I'm Miranda," Said the woman, "Who are you?"

"I'm Percy." replied Percy speechless. "I like what I see." He said.

She replied "So do I..." and winked.

She climbed on Percy's cab to go to the sheds. Along the journey he was telling her all about his life on Sodor. He wouldn't dare tell her all the other engines make fun of him for this was possibly his chance to get laid. He made himself into a possible character and wanted to hear from Miranda's life. She told him that her crashed object named Normandy was a space ship and she was part of a group, called "Cerberus," of human terrorists in the galaxy. Percy was impressed and dreamy too. Percy then said he admired the looks of Miranda she was flattered.

"Guess you would admire me right now…" she purred.

"Wait till we get to Tidmouth sheds." Percy purred back.

That night Percy got back to the sheds with Miranda, she was chatting him up as he entered the shed she unzipped her outfit pressing her lips onto Percy's face.

"I've got an erection!" Percy wailed. They started having wonderful fun. Gordon, James and Henry were furious and couldn't sleep because of the noise from Percy and Miranda in the shed.

Then all of a sudden there was silence from the big engines from Percy shouting "Blow my whistle baby!" and from loud thumping, wailing from Percy and Miranda. All of the engines were shocked for the rest of the night.

Next morning The Fat Controller came to see the engines. "Why the shock?" he asked. Rubbing a towel on his penis.

Henry answered "Percy...ha...had... the S word..." terrifyingly, still mind fucked from what he saw the previous night.

The Fat Controller looked at Percy shocked.

Percy said "It was a fun night." and winked.


End file.
